Coming this June, as it has come for nearly every June this century!IT CAME FROM THE NEO-FUTURARIUM VIII!
Legend of the Neo-Futurarium
Staged Readings of the Best Bad Films of the 20th Century
This year's Film Fest will be running on Thursday evenings from June 25-July 30. Come enjoy--in vivid 3-D because all of the actors are live onstage--the following six film presentations:
Cool As Ice (1991) - June 25
Before Eminem, but after the Beastie Boys, there was Vanilla Ice. The original high-haired, Queen-cribbing 90s hip-hop legend stars in this vanity vehicle as Johnny, a tough-yet-tender urban rebel who ends up stuck with his posse in a small middle American town that isn't ready for how street they are. While there, Johnny attempts to win the stone-cold heart of the girl of his dreams, using all of the cool motorcycle tricks and snappy rap one-liners at his disposal. Dina Connolly (Masters of the Universe) directs and stars as Vanilla, in a film that will rock your mike like a vandal.
Cruising (1981) - July 2
Gay men weren't always your wacky neighbors and sexually non-threatening best friends. In the early 1980s, or so Cruising would have you know, homosexuality was a dark and creepy world of perversion and horror, a world that attempted to seduce you into its wicked clutches. Al Pacino stars as an undercover homicide detective in New York City, where a serial killer is trolling the gay scene for victims...and the only way for Pacino to get inside the mind of his quarry is to dangle dangerously close to the edge of gayness himself! Jack Tamburri of The Plagiarists directs this controversial suspense film about either the gay panic that one is turning gay or the gay fantasy of making somebody turn gay.
Screaming Mimi (1958) - July 9
When buxom Swedish blonde Anita Ekberg is attacked by an escaped mental patient, it drives her into a state of breathy hysteria that can only be cured by sending her to the same mental hospital her attacker broke out of, turning her into the love slave of a creepy psychiatrist, and forcing her to become an uncoordinated lounge dancer under the watch of cabaret legend Gypsy Rose Lee. But why is she being stalked, and what does any of it have to do with the statues of the screaming woman that her brother sculpts in his spare time? Film Fest creator Rachel Claff (Ring of Fear) directs this noir-ish-esque-ploitation mess of light, shadow, and plunging bustlines.
The Naked Killer (Chik loh go yeung) (1992) - July 16
Kitty is an assassin who seduces her victims and then twists their limbs and genitals off, among other creative methods of murder. Inspector Teenom is a Hong Kong police detective, struggling with personal demons, who is hot on her trail. OF COURSE they're destined to fall in love! Greg Allen (The Cross and the Switchblade) directs this rampaging riot of fetishistic softcore sex and mindless hardcore mayhem, complete with badly performed English overdub of badly written dialogue.
Equinox (1970) - July 23
An educational film of sorts, that taught the teenagers of the late sixties why they should never enter the dark spooky cave from which is emanating a high-pitched, insane cackle. For if they do, as the four hapless teens of Equinox did, then they might end up being hunted by nefarious demon park ranger Mr. Asmodeus and his rudimentary creature effects (designed by the same future multiple Oscar winner who helped create visual effects for Star Wars, among other films). Directed by Bob Stockfish (The Ten Commandments) and featuring live effects only slightly lower-tech than the original.
Legend (1986) - July 30
Just your typical girl-loves-boy, boy-loves-girl, boy-shows-girl-his-unicorns, girl-gets-unicorns-captured-by-Lord-of-Darkness story. Starring a boyish Tom Cruise, a willowy Mia Sara, and a bumpy Tim Curry, Ridley Scott's preposterous fantasy epic is everything the eight year-old girl in you ever wanted from a blockbuster motion picture. Directed by Dana Dardai (Ninja III: The Domination) of Camenae Ensemble, Legend seamlessly blends together fairies, goblins, random lines spoken in rhyming couplet, dancing dresses, and endless clouds of magical debris.
Legend of the Neo-Futurarium
Staged Readings of the Best Bad Films of the 20th Century
This year's Film Fest will be running on Thursday evenings from June 25-July 30. Come enjoy--in vivid 3-D because all of the actors are live onstage--the following six film presentations:
Cool As Ice (1991) - June 25
Before Eminem, but after the Beastie Boys, there was Vanilla Ice. The original high-haired, Queen-cribbing 90s hip-hop legend stars in this vanity vehicle as Johnny, a tough-yet-tender urban rebel who ends up stuck with his posse in a small middle American town that isn't ready for how street they are. While there, Johnny attempts to win the stone-cold heart of the girl of his dreams, using all of the cool motorcycle tricks and snappy rap one-liners at his disposal. Dina Connolly (Masters of the Universe) directs and stars as Vanilla, in a film that will rock your mike like a vandal.
Cruising (1981) - July 2
Gay men weren't always your wacky neighbors and sexually non-threatening best friends. In the early 1980s, or so Cruising would have you know, homosexuality was a dark and creepy world of perversion and horror, a world that attempted to seduce you into its wicked clutches. Al Pacino stars as an undercover homicide detective in New York City, where a serial killer is trolling the gay scene for victims...and the only way for Pacino to get inside the mind of his quarry is to dangle dangerously close to the edge of gayness himself! Jack Tamburri of The Plagiarists directs this controversial suspense film about either the gay panic that one is turning gay or the gay fantasy of making somebody turn gay.
Screaming Mimi (1958) - July 9
When buxom Swedish blonde Anita Ekberg is attacked by an escaped mental patient, it drives her into a state of breathy hysteria that can only be cured by sending her to the same mental hospital her attacker broke out of, turning her into the love slave of a creepy psychiatrist, and forcing her to become an uncoordinated lounge dancer under the watch of cabaret legend Gypsy Rose Lee. But why is she being stalked, and what does any of it have to do with the statues of the screaming woman that her brother sculpts in his spare time? Film Fest creator Rachel Claff (Ring of Fear) directs this noir-ish-esque-ploitation mess of light, shadow, and plunging bustlines.
The Naked Killer (Chik loh go yeung) (1992) - July 16
Kitty is an assassin who seduces her victims and then twists their limbs and genitals off, among other creative methods of murder. Inspector Teenom is a Hong Kong police detective, struggling with personal demons, who is hot on her trail. OF COURSE they're destined to fall in love! Greg Allen (The Cross and the Switchblade) directs this rampaging riot of fetishistic softcore sex and mindless hardcore mayhem, complete with badly performed English overdub of badly written dialogue.
Equinox (1970) - July 23
An educational film of sorts, that taught the teenagers of the late sixties why they should never enter the dark spooky cave from which is emanating a high-pitched, insane cackle. For if they do, as the four hapless teens of Equinox did, then they might end up being hunted by nefarious demon park ranger Mr. Asmodeus and his rudimentary creature effects (designed by the same future multiple Oscar winner who helped create visual effects for Star Wars, among other films). Directed by Bob Stockfish (The Ten Commandments) and featuring live effects only slightly lower-tech than the original.
Legend (1986) - July 30
Just your typical girl-loves-boy, boy-loves-girl, boy-shows-girl-his-unicorns, girl-gets-unicorns-captured-by-Lord-of-Darkness story. Starring a boyish Tom Cruise, a willowy Mia Sara, and a bumpy Tim Curry, Ridley Scott's preposterous fantasy epic is everything the eight year-old girl in you ever wanted from a blockbuster motion picture. Directed by Dana Dardai (Ninja III: The Domination) of Camenae Ensemble, Legend seamlessly blends together fairies, goblins, random lines spoken in rhyming couplet, dancing dresses, and endless clouds of magical debris.
It Came From The Neo-Futurarium VIII: Legend of the Neo-Futurarium
A Neo-Futurist Production of a Neo-Futurist Film Fest
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A Neo-Futurist Production of a Neo-Futurist Film Fest
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