Last time I missed a World Premiere Preview, I said – and I quote – “If I miss a week of World Premiere Preview, I have to do a shot. And tell your Dad I’m pregnant.”
First of all, that sentence sounds like I am ordering you to tell your Dad that I am pregnant, whereas what I meant to say was that the act of telling your Dad that I am pregnant would be done, specifically, by me, on the condition of missing a week of World Premiere Previews. Regardless, it was a stupid thing to write, period. I’m sorry.
So, my question now, is, What do I do if I miss four World Premiere Previews? The consequences are boundless. Maybe it’s that I write a whole lot more (I’m feeling frisky, can you tell?).
What I feel real dumb about is this came right when I had all those nice Guest Writers. We’ll start that up again next week. I got an idea for someone. It ryhmes with "Balls Johnson."
You know, we’re short staffed. That reminds me. Are you auditioning? You know who you are.
Alright. Titles (hand-typed!) From the PAST. . .
World Premieres for July 6, 7, 8: This was a cast of Leah, Bilal, Trevor, Kurt, Tif, and Lisa Buscani. We put in 7, but I think we might have only rolled a five. Nine mimes rolled in their graves this week (Question, when a mime dies, is he put in a coffin, or does he have to establish it with his dead hands?)
- And this I swear – (leah urzendowski)
- Large Multi-National Bank Shot – (bilal dardai)
- maybe there are better places – (trevor dawkins)
- Anti-Mime. – (trevor dawkins)
- The Grieve – (kurt chiang)
- Belated Birthday Play; Sometimes you forget to plan and have to invite a room full of strangers to the party – (tif harrison)
- The Nation Responds to Anderson Cooper’s Coming Out. – (tif harrison)
World Premieres for July 13, 14, 15: Kurt, Trevor, Leah, Bilal, Tif, and Brenda, triumphantly returning from the Northwest. She looked grungier. This was my last week before a two week break, and I wrote a play that might get some angry Yelp reviews, if there are any Yelpers sitting in the first row with white pants (note: leave your white pants at home). We put in 9; again, I don’t remember what we rolled.
- Kool-Aid Man vs. Brick Wall (role reversal) – (kurt chiang)
- Give Your Shirt A Hug – (trevor dawkins)
- Scary stats, tantalizing tidbits, and princesses. – (leah urzendowski)
- Continuity – (bilal dardai)
- is designed to crumple. – (bilal dardai)
- into the wake – (tif harrison)
- Who’s Is This? – (brenda arellano)
- Dispatches From The Pacific Northwest, #1 – (brenda arellano)
- Dispatches From The Pacific Northwest, #3 – (brenda arellano)
World Premieres for July 20, 21, 22: Leah, Bilal, Trevor, Tif, Brenda, and Jessica returning for a last hurrah before grad school takes a bite of her time. I saw this show, and Tif was wearing a hat and pretending like no one could see her. It was weird, and I was confused. But then I thought about it later and I think I got it now. 6 new plays.
- Prayers of the Faithful – (leah urzendowski)
- Letdown – (leah urzendowski)
- Dictionary Dardai – (bilal dardai)
- Graveyards At Night – (jessica anne)
- Fun Fem Query – (jessica anne)
- keeping up the chase – (tif harrison)
World Premieres for July 27, 28, 29: Better late than never. These plays happened last night, again by Leah, Bilal, Trevor, TIf, Brenda, and Jessica. I think they rolled a 3 actually, but then got trigger happy and cut 4. Sunday night, my uncle Don (who lived on a farm) will see this show for the first time, so pray for him.
- “keep and bear” – (bilal dardai)
- Translation Elucidation Communication – (brenda arellano)
- Sally Ride dies at 61; first American woman in space – (trevor dawkins)
- You Rest, I’ll Take the Wheel – (jessica anne)
Hey, that’s 26 new plays in 4 weeks. See how that works?
Next week, Kurt and Megan come back in the show, and it is more than likely the 8000th play will be in the menu. Put your bets on who writes it.
Also, note: I’m not going to re-read this for spelling mistakes or typos, so try and use your imagination. Thanks, everyone.