World Premiere Previews ALL of JULY: Wells Fargo Edition

Wow.

Last time I missed a World Premiere Preview, I said – and I quote – “If I miss a week of World Premiere Preview, I have to do a shot.  And tell your Dad I’m pregnant.”

First of all, that sentence sounds like I am ordering you to tell your Dad that I am pregnant, whereas what I meant to say was that the act of telling your Dad that I am pregnant would be done, specifically, by me, on the condition of missing a week of World Premiere Previews.  Regardless, it was a stupid thing to write, period.  I’m sorry.

NO APOLOGIZING

So, my question now, is, What do I do if I miss four World Premiere Previews?  The consequences are boundless.  Maybe it’s that I write a whole lot more (I’m feeling frisky, can you tell?).

What I feel real dumb about is this came right when I had all those nice Guest Writers.  We’ll start that up again next week.  I got an idea for someone.  It ryhmes with "Balls Johnson."

You know, we’re short staffed.  That reminds me.  Are you auditioning?  You know who you are.

Alright.  Titles (hand-typed!)  From the PAST. . .

World Premieres for July 6, 7, 8:  This was a cast of Leah, Bilal, Trevor, Kurt, Tif, and Lisa Buscani.  We put in 7, but I think we might have only rolled a five.  Nine mimes rolled in their graves this week (Question, when a mime dies, is he put in a coffin, or does he have to establish it with his dead hands?)

• And this I swear – (leah urzendowski)
• Large Multi-National Bank Shot – (bilal dardai)
• maybe there are better places – (trevor dawkins)
• Anti-Mime. – (trevor dawkins)
• The Grieve – (kurt chiang)
• Belated Birthday Play; Sometimes you forget to plan and have to invite a room full of strangers to the party – (tif harrison)
• The Nation Responds to Anderson Cooper’s Coming Out. – (tif harrison)

World Premieres for July 13, 14, 15:  Kurt, Trevor, Leah, Bilal, Tif, and Brenda, triumphantly returning from the Northwest.  She looked grungier.  This was my last week before a two week break, and I wrote a play that might get some angry Yelp reviews, if there are any Yelpers sitting in the first row with white pants (note: leave your white pants at home).  We put in 9; again, I don’t remember what we rolled.

• Kool-Aid Man vs. Brick Wall (role reversal) – (kurt chiang)
• Give Your Shirt A Hug – (trevor dawkins)
• Scary stats, tantalizing tidbits, and princesses. – (leah urzendowski)
• Continuity – (bilal dardai)
• is designed to crumple. – (bilal dardai)
• into the wake – (tif harrison)
• Who’s Is This? – (brenda arellano)
• Dispatches From The Pacific Northwest, #1 – (brenda arellano)
• Dispatches From The Pacific Northwest, #3 – (brenda arellano)

World Premieres for July 20, 21, 22:  Leah, Bilal, Trevor, Tif, Brenda, and Jessica returning for a last hurrah before grad school takes a bite of her time.  I saw this show, and Tif was wearing a hat and pretending like no one could see her.  It was weird, and I was confused.  But then I thought about it later and I think I got it now.  6 new plays.

• Prayers of the Faithful – (leah urzendowski)
• Letdown – (leah urzendowski)
• Dictionary Dardai – (bilal dardai)
• Graveyards At Night – (jessica anne)
• Fun Fem Query – (jessica anne)
• keeping up the chase – (tif harrison)

World Premieres for July 27, 28, 29:  Better late than never.  These plays happened last night, again by Leah, Bilal, Trevor, TIf, Brenda, and Jessica.  I think they rolled a 3 actually, but then got trigger happy and cut 4.  Sunday night, my uncle Don (who lived on a farm) will see this show for the first time, so pray for him.

• “keep and bear” – (bilal dardai)
• Translation Elucidation Communication – (brenda arellano)
• Sally Ride dies at 61; first American woman in space – (trevor dawkins)
• You Rest, I’ll Take the Wheel – (jessica anne)

Hey, that’s 26 new plays in 4 weeks.  See how that works?

Next week, Kurt and Megan come back in the show, and it is more than likely the 8000^th play will be in the menu.  Put your bets on who writes it.

Also, note: I’m not going to re-read this for spelling mistakes or typos, so try and use your imagination.  Thanks, everyone.