Alright, children. 2 things:
1 – This weekend, new plays. AND our 8000th play since the 80’s. I can’t tell you if that play resembles any of the dinosaur plays from that period, but I can tell you that the play is generous. Jessica Anne does the honors.
2 – Guest-writer Laura McKenzie, of the Barrel of Monkeys and Factory Theater fame, as well as a fist full of neo-futurist prime-time shows, gives you a meditation on time.
A weird thing happened. It’s like I went to sleep one night in July, and I woke up the next morning and it’s August.
WHAT THE SHiiiiiiT?!??
August is like that nasty dude in the corner of the club. Nonchalantly sipping his Miller 64 until BAM – you’re getting butt humped, neck sweated and reached around on.
August is like a filled-to-the-rim Lollapalooza porta-shitter. There for you when you oh so desperately need it, but so disappointingly disgusting you end up throwing up all over yourself.
August is like the Sunday of summer.
It’s easy to spend a good part of your Sunday in bed. Like in that one song that Lionel Richie sang when he was in the Commodores before he met the blind lady in pottery class: easy like Sunday morning. Sure. Makes sense. I like eggs.
But where I come from – which is the streets – easy doesn’t mean “no worries let’s just stay naked and eat bacon” easy. Easy is most definitely a synonym for WHORISH. So, Lionel, what you are crooning to us is that Sunday is a whore that screws you for money or sometimes crack.
August, wherefore are thou such a ho?
You can’t close your eyes and get soft on August or you will get robbed of all you got – namely your plans, dreams, goals and everything else that falls into the category of “shit you were gonna do over the summer that would result in a better life/attitude”. If you’re staying in bed in August, it’s not to eat nude bacon. It’s because you either resigned yourself to watching the Lifetime Movie Network Teens in Trouble Marathon (She’s Too Young To Die tackles the syphilis taboo – you can get it in your mouth!) or you literally cannot get out of bed because you were hobbled. Hobbled by fears!
So how do we deal with August? Get out of bed! Don’t let whores stay at your house and steal your shit (shit may or may not include the following: plans for fun, dreams, goals, pals, sense of worth, etc). And don’t eat a burrito at Lollapalooza.
Rolled a six. Cut 8 plays. Kurt, Megan, Jessica, Bilal, Trevor, Tif, Brenda –
- planet home – (megan mercier)
- Taking in the Moment; or, The 2012 Summer Olympics March of Nations – (kurt chiang)
- Joy In The Small – (brenda arellano)
- new girl on the block – (megan mercier)
- insomnia; destroyed. – (tif harrison)
- Legally Speaking, I can’t say shit. – (tif harrison)
- Shiny Shine Shine – (jessica anne, and the 8000th play!!!!!!!!!!!)
- analog: Other Voices, False Perceptions, and Feedback – (kurt chiang)
You guys like Balls Johnson?
Next week, someone with blond hair (I don’t know if that’s true).